


if things just stayed the same

by scorpio-risings (aureliamayy)



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Alex Doesn't Sleep, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Feelings, I wrote this in a notebook in the dirt parking lot of a farm, M/M, Post-Canon, What else is new, neither does Henry, so it's a bit rambly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-20 22:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21064523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aureliamayy/pseuds/scorpio-risings
Summary: Alex and Henry finally made their way to Brooklyn, their chance at a relatively normal relationship. They can't believe their luck and Alex has lots of emotions.





	if things just stayed the same

Their first night in Brooklyn, Alex can hardly breathe.

It’s not the stress of moving and it’s not even his dust allergy acting up (Henry made sure every inch of the place was beyond spotless). It’s the sheer sense of disbelief that somehow this all worked out. Thinking about how perfectly his stars have aligned makes his head ache. Maybe June was right all along with her zodiac signs and her magic rocks - there has to be a divine explanation for the unprecedented amount of emotion Alex is going through right now.

He’s lying awake in bed and his head is spinning - what if they hadn’t met in Rio, if his mom hadn’t won, if Philip hadn’t met Martha and if Alex hadn’t drank too much champagne at the wedding, if if if…

There’s another big what if circling his mind, one that he considers almost on the daily: what if they were normal people? What if they met in college, or at work, or in a chance encounter at a coffee shop? If they could do whatever they wanted without so many people caring so goddamn much, if buying groceries wasn’t a newsworthy spectacle? He looks at his school friends casually dating, random couples on the street, Liam and Spencer making weekend trips to the lake - and he envies them. He knows he’s lucky, privileged in a multitude of ways, but he can’t help but wish Henry and him had a little more room to breathe. Alex loved the spotlight during his mom’s first four years; he thrived off the attention and the sense of responsibility that came with being in the public eye. But now there are days where he catches himself wishing, partly for Henry’s sake, that she hadn’t won again. It’s a terrible thought, a ridiculously selfish one, and it wouldn’t even fix the problem of Henry’s permanent ties to the most famous family on earth, but still. Alex craves that little taste of normalcy for them both.

And here’s Alex’s favorite part of his escapist fantasy: if they were normal people, they would still be exactly where they are now.

Not one moment of their relationship has followed a traditional path, yet here they are, a young couple impulsively running off to New York City. It’s so classic and cliche it swells Alex’s heart. If those lucky stars had aligned differently, only this room would be the same. Maybe Alex wouldn’t have a signet ring on a chain around his neck, and the sheets would be from Target instead of some posh British boutique, but the important things, those would remain unchanged. Henry would make morning coffee and tea. Alex would flip through TV channels while trying to study at the same time, Henry’s hand resting on his thigh. They would turn off the light every night and hold each other, the hum of the never-asleep city background music to their soft, tired breathing. The First Son and the Prince of Wales would be famous figures neither of them gave much thought to, and life would go on.

Alex has never once believed in fate, but loving Henry has made him pretty damn sure there’s some force watching out for them. Lying next to him on a chilly Brooklyn night is so much more than luck or random chance, it has to be.

Only a year ago they were sneaking around, avoiding the public eye just as much as their own feelings. The fact that they made it out of that mess still together is a small miracle in itself - one that people love to constantly remind them of. Just last week someone asked Alex if he ever saw himself falling in love with a guy, as if Henry’s gender is the most surprising piece in this impossibly lucky puzzle. The truth is, Alex never saw himself falling so deeply in love at all. It was always awkward high school dates, summer flings, casual post-party hookups. Nora out of convenience, Liam out of curiosity. The idea of allowing someone into the deepest corners his heart seemed so distant and unreal, a future that belonged to many other people but was not a possibility for him. Never ever did Alex think he would have this, that someone would so wholly love him and that he would so wholly love them back.

He hesitantly reaches to the nightstand, not wanting to disturb Henry’s arm draped over his side, heavy with sleep. The painful brightness of his phone screen makes him squint as he checks the time - 3:43 AM, and he hasn’t yet slept a minute.

Alex puts the phone down, closes his eyes, shifts around for a few more minutes. His brain can’t stop spinning. There’s no way in hell he’ll fall asleep any time soon. 

Henry’s hand is just over Alex’s ribcage, and he bends his arm to lace their fingers together. “Henry?” he whispers. He feels bad for waking him up - Henry was actually sleeping soundly for once, an unprecedented phenomenon - but Alex needs something to ground him right now. Someone.

Alex gets a groggy response. “Mm?”. Henry tightens his fingers around Alex’s. “Sleep.”

“I… I can’t believe we’re here.” It’s a meager summary of Alex’s mind-consuming thoughts, but Henry will understand. He always does - even when Alex doesn’t.

Henry moves his chin to rest on Alex’s shoulder, slides a leg between Alex’s. There’s a long beat before his response - “I know. But we’re meant to be here.”

And just like that, even with his brain fogged by sleep, Henry manages to summarize Alex’s thoughts in just a few words. He always does. It seems sometimes he knows Alex better than Alex knows himself.

The key hanging around Alex’s neck used to comfort him, to remind him of where he came from. Ever since the ring came to rest beside it, the significance has shifted. With every metallic clink of brass against gold, he’s reminded of how vulnerable he’s learned to be; how closed-off he once was, from both others and himself. Henry knows Alex beyond the walls he puts up. Henry knows what’s behind that locked door, but he can’t open it for him. He just teaches Alex to use the key. The reminder of Alex’s past keeps him humble, but that little piece of Henry makes him calm. It steadies him.

Henry’s breaths have slowed again, and Alex’s eyelids are finally beginning to flutter shut. Outside the window, behind the drawn curtains, streetlights shine and people wander and the cover of night prepares to lift. The morning will mark the first page of a new chapter, the very beginnings of a new routine. Their lucky stars have been beckoning them here since Rio, since the royal wedding, since their tryst in the Red Room - and finally, they’ve made it. For once, Alex will have Henry and Henry will have Alex without a deadline. No secrets, no sneaking around, no flights home to catch. Because this is home. And this is the way they were meant to be all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I honestly never quite finished editing this but I needed to post something to motivate me to work on my other writing projects - so apologies if it's a little messy. You can find me on tumblr at scorpio-risings for anything rwrb-related, and any ideas/prompts for future fics are more than welcome :)
> 
> Title from Lights Up by Harry Styles because it's all I've been listening to for the past week. I deeply regret not having a One Direction fan phase.


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